Born Monday 30 November 1835, died Thursday 21 April 1910
She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.
The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.
What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.
It is easier to stay out than get out.
Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.
To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.
The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word.
We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.
Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.
The Public is merely a multiplied "me."
Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.